Justin

Before you judge this. Or try to delete this. Try to live with it. In a world ruled by liars, people just cover up what they dont like. Covering it up does not change the truth. If you are 20+ and still chasing love as a woman, the problem is YOU. Do you know the kind of love that connects your mind to a deeper understanding of the universe? The kind that finally makes all the dark places light. It is the love you give. I am in need of getting some of that in my life, but I need to be clear I want more children and I have a wife, I love. We feel like we are special enough to love another. I have spent so much time helping women be selfish. Keeping their thoughts and secrets from me. You think life is about having all your pains addressed by someone else while you neglect their pain and your own. Being wooed and won. For what? Your body and mind are the least valuable things you have, when everyone has had them? I am determined to find a woman willing to open up that virgin spirit. To learn to convey doubts in yourself rather than in me. Being a Jon to a big eyed Girl friend that acts like neither girl nor friend, has lost its appeal. I am sick of monsters treating men like dirt. Treating families like slaves? A human fetus as a virus? Some day men/God will rise against unfair power hungry rulers like that? Treat me as you treat weakest amongst you. Valueless. Your whines and cries will go unheard. You have all cried wolf too many times. Look in the mirror. All that is wrong in the world is women lying about who people are and men believing it. One that wants to admit to hatred or unsure of love. Will you always dance with the devil? I cant stand who men and women are. Horny retards chasing after emptiness and growing more empty by the minute. The person that wants to treat life like it is really happening and they get this, is probably someone I will love deeper than I have before. I have failed to ever talk about love the way I really saw it until now. It felt weak. Its weak to deny it. I dont judge for what you have done, as much as you do. Be accountable and you wont feel like I am attacking you, I am sharing. So sick of the pointless rambling and droning on we all do about your feelings, you are supposed to grow feelings outside of you. I got a hand that is more caring and less greedy that fulfills what most women offer. What do you hope to do with suffocating the world in your tears of denial? Dating is a lie. A game devised by people living in lies and giving no thought to life, other than fun. People concerned with finding fun while people suffer are the most pathetic things. Morality and goals and a shared understanding of them is all that matters. I will take a few extremely intimate and loving friends over the social media hoards. I want a place for my own life and family to grow. Not our friends, moms, dads, or exes and certainly not your friends and family. The safest place to grow is in love. Love covers us in the warmth of hope and belief. Love is a comittment to care. How often does care really extend beyond your own self? Be careful in life by setting a goal rather than seeking vibes. Dating is just children dipping there feet into more possibilities of uncertainty. More clouding the truth and mind. How come so few know what they want? Because you live in a life of wanting acceptance from all, rather than finding your own purpose in what you have. Narrow your field of view. Dont search for wonder and excitement in new things. Look for them in the same old things. Appreciate what you have rather than wondering about what you dont. The value of a lies is the same as watching a movie. You felt things, saw things, tried to guess what was going on. It gave you something to do, but it never got you anywhere. In the end a lie just takes away the time you had to feel the things you should have. To become a person that knows true feelings. It made no part of your life or all it touched valuable. It made no love and gained no soul.
I am an old soul (code for: grown-up) in search of another old soul.. A grown up understands that they would rather give life meaning than fun. That joy is deeper than and greater than happiness. I dont live for the day. I live each day for the person I want to be. I am more curious of why things do what they do, than how? I spend alot of time reflecting on the truth. Reflecting on wether or not we are a part of something greater or if greatness is few and far between? The most valuable comoddity I can find is the pursuit of translating genuine thoughts into words. I am a believer in Christ and his morality. I am less hung up on who he was/wasnt more inclined to honor him for what he tried to convey. No matter what, It takes a spark of the divine to live a life as his. Flesh or spirit? I have cravings for both. Both seem to be at odds with one another. I suspect one day we will all find our grandest Idea does not compare with whatever we might find. Who I am reflects what I am searching for. I am just trying to find anyone that wants to figure out the human soul. Someone that craves knowledge more than things. Would like companionship while learning a new hobby or skill. Someone that feels like the world is too busy and wants a quiet life. I am sick of debating. I want to find somone that would rather find honest understanding with one another. Wants to take the road less traveled spiritually, mentally, and physically. I like my ability to live off the land and take what I need from nature. I would rather become more of an individual capable of that life than less. I dont love the outdoors I appreciate the outdoors. I try not to love things that dont love back. I respect nature and enjoy its company. I have spent too much time working to find out people are not who they said. No. They had no intention of being who they said. No accountability to failure and too much praise directed at their successes. We can/should all fail who we would like to be. Acknowleding it gives us the drive to do better. I have land and a home that are paid for I want to create something beautiful with it. It also means I am semi retired and I do not plan on working harder/more to accommodate your life. I want to finish creating the best possible version of me. I want a reason to keep doing what I set out to do. Unfortunately I seem to have never had what I thought I did and what I do have I am not sure of anymore. It might seem like I am asking alot but I am just looking for what people gave themselves for thousands of years before this present age we find ourselves in? Connection. Community. Commitment. Value. Family. Care. Children. Purpose. Struggles Worth Doing. Life. To make our lives a journey worth the trouble. At the end of the journey, it would become a history worth reading. If you think I wrote too much, you are a selfish person dragging others through your life while you figure out what you are wanting. If